The latest one :

A few reasons

As to why Orkut is so creepy at times. I do believe that it has some some good purpose as well but then that's something am not going to discuss.

Disclaimer : All the examples provided here are absolutely real and authentic. Though they are very old. They weren't just cooked up for the comedy. But well the intention is definitely on the lighter side of things as always. So just read on.

Pick up lines (for friendship?) well ofcourse!

hy this is ***** frm delhi and want to become ur friend and if u r interested to become friendship wid me then plz call me up at %$#^$%&^*!

Ok, so the gentleman here expected my hand for friendship. And he went all out with it.

Orkut Tip # 1 : Please don't use this line ever "Can you do friendship with me?". The answer you will most definitely get is NO!

hey..How r u ?? Just wanna say hi to you..Me in bangalore..28/m..working..so..ver r u ..?
drop me with hi from you :)

Orkut Tip # 2 : Bad english can be the biggest turn off.

Its xyz from India here... single sensitive n broadminded.wait for ur mail back..

Orkut tip # 3: This isn't shaadi.com. Seriously dude? single sensitive broadminded!!

are u dating someone???

Well if that's the first line. We know what you're all about.

Orkut tip # 4: Avoid it. A simple "hi. How u doing?" couldn't have killed the desperation here.

huw z u?i just happened to browse through your profile and am glad to meet you here!so where are you now?

Were we long lost buds? I have no recollection whatsoever.

Orkut Tip # 5: Never be too pushy! This is the first time you met her!

..Was just passing around ....I think it was just a random search....By the way...Wan be a friend of mine?...

How special was that?! You just took my breath away!

Orkut Tip # 6: Atleast don't tell her you are a despo even if you so are!

May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Ok thanks a lot. Bye!

Orkut Tip # 7: These cheesy quotes stolen from somewhere do not work. Extra sweet is a problem not a quality.

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I would love to make friendship with u, hope the same withu...

Well we talked about this. Just couldn't resist.

No dude! I don't wanna make any kind of friendship with you. :-)

saw ur profile and thought to say hi.more on response...

Well no one really was dying. So nomore on any further communication.

Orkut tip # 8 : Don't ever expect things from the ladies. We don't like that.

Let me be frank.. wanna date??

Obviously not :) Were you expecting some other reply.

Orkut tip # 9 : Please don't be frank. Learn being decent if not smooth.

9 being a nice number for some people would be a good enough reason to stop.

I have many more of those mails from those good ol' orkut days. But then that's about it.

So is the lesson learnt? Well again... Lessons were never meant to be learnt.

I have been off Orkut for quite sometime. Well that's just me. A personal choice!

To all others... Happy scraping!

1 Comment:

  1. Rishirich said...
    Malcaneus....:)

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